A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!"
The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua.
The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink.
The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
No Dogs
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Re: No Dogs
Love it! Reminds me of the another dog in a bar joke.
For year good Old Shep had been visiting the bar most evenings with his master, he was well known to the locals and the landlord and was much loved by all. The kindly landlord would often give the dog a drink and a bone to nibble on, but after thirteen years of coming to the pub nearly every day, one night his master came alone. It was with much grief that he informed the barman and other patrons that poor old shep had finally gone where all faithful dogs eventually go, to that great kennel in the sky. The landlord was deeply saddened at his passing as the beloved pet was as much a part of the pub as himself. He asked the bereaved owner if perhaps they could have a keepsake in memory of all the good times they had shared. The owner, never one to bite the hand that serves him a pint every night, promised to bring in a memento of some sort. The following day the owner of the late canine returned to the bar with the tail of his old friend. He told how he had buried his dog and said a prayer to the great Dog in heaven that Old Shep be welcomed into his loving embrace.
The barman thanked him for the gift and hung the tail above the bar for all to see and remember.
The following afternoon the immortal spirit of Old Shep walked into the pub and approached the bar. The landlord somewhat disturbed at the sight, asked what he was doing there, "Shouldn't you be in heaven?" he asked.
"Yes," said the ghostly canine spirit, "But when I got there St. Bernard wouldn't let me in because I wasn't a complete dog. He said that without my tail I cannot enter doggie heaven. So please can you give me my tail back?"
The barman looked at him with great discomfort and replied, "I can't. I'm ever so sorry, but we don't re-tail spirits here."
For year good Old Shep had been visiting the bar most evenings with his master, he was well known to the locals and the landlord and was much loved by all. The kindly landlord would often give the dog a drink and a bone to nibble on, but after thirteen years of coming to the pub nearly every day, one night his master came alone. It was with much grief that he informed the barman and other patrons that poor old shep had finally gone where all faithful dogs eventually go, to that great kennel in the sky. The landlord was deeply saddened at his passing as the beloved pet was as much a part of the pub as himself. He asked the bereaved owner if perhaps they could have a keepsake in memory of all the good times they had shared. The owner, never one to bite the hand that serves him a pint every night, promised to bring in a memento of some sort. The following day the owner of the late canine returned to the bar with the tail of his old friend. He told how he had buried his dog and said a prayer to the great Dog in heaven that Old Shep be welcomed into his loving embrace.
The barman thanked him for the gift and hung the tail above the bar for all to see and remember.
The following afternoon the immortal spirit of Old Shep walked into the pub and approached the bar. The landlord somewhat disturbed at the sight, asked what he was doing there, "Shouldn't you be in heaven?" he asked.
"Yes," said the ghostly canine spirit, "But when I got there St. Bernard wouldn't let me in because I wasn't a complete dog. He said that without my tail I cannot enter doggie heaven. So please can you give me my tail back?"
The barman looked at him with great discomfort and replied, "I can't. I'm ever so sorry, but we don't re-tail spirits here."
