Suzuki 2 Strokes

The house next door to me sold and my new neighbors have moved in. They have three - count em' three barking dogs. There is a long haired Shepard, a long haired Dachshund and a Cocker Spaniel. These are all molecular barking dogs - meaning they will bark at everything anitimate or inatimate. They are in a totally privacey fenced yard so they can't see anything. But still they bark. Bark at the house, bark at the garage, bark at the lawn, bark at molecules and bark at each other.
I am ready to move. But my wife won't part with the house we have lived in for the past 38 years.
Don't get me wrong. I like dogs, but I hate the ones that bark just to bark.
Anyone have some spare hand grenades?

Zanax in balls of hamburger might work.

Jug +1....
although I'm not sure what Zanax is, it sounds nasty.....

Or maybe, the dogs need to "escape".....if ya get my drift.....

here ya go Richie lad ...
What is Xanax?
Xanax is in a group of drugs called benzodiazepines (ben-zoe-dye-AZE-eh-peens). It affects chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause anxiety.

Xanax is used to treat anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and anxiety caused by depression.

Xanax may also be used for other purposes not listed in this medication guide.

but this is a sure cure

Sneak their dogs into your yard and see how they like all the barking. Unfortunately there are some people that pay no attention to their dogs so they end up barking all hours of the night and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Sounds like they're not the best neighbors.

buy a bag of peper and throw it all over the garden.
they spend more time sneezing than woof wuf

I like the xanax in h/b meat my self...... maybe an 'escape' from stalag 13 could be arranged.

Nice over and under, John.....and the pepper idea is great.....and undetectable if done when it's dark outside. A quick flick of the wrist and a handful of pepper flies over the fence to disperse in the grass....
I love it.....effective AND harmless to all concerned.

Oh and try Alkaseltzer in Hamburger meat.They'll try to figure out why they are Heaving Loads of Pink Foam.

I can tell that there are a LOT of devious but inventive minds on this board..... .....but I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing or not.....

It's Quite Alright Uncle H2 Just as Long as there is Distance Between us and All of the Devious Minds Don't all Come together at Once.It would really be Bad if all of the Neutrons and Protons converged at the same time. I'm sure if we all Vacated to Coyote's House we would be Grilling the Neighbors Dogs to See How Cute they Tasted or Something.

On a Similar Note...... So far So good on the Local Retard that lives Across from my Garage.He came out on me a few weeks ago and Screamed across the road at me.He told me that he didn't want any Wild Parties in the Garage.I asked him if He had Seen Any Wild F%$#in Parties since I bought the Place. His Idea of Wild Parties is Grilling Hotdogs. He actually has called the Law on a few people for grilling Peacefully. I told Him Not to Acknowledge that I Existed and I would do the Same.Then I told Him to get in the F&#%in House and Leave me the F*$# Alone.He Came back out as I was Leaving and I flipped him the Finger as I was Getting in the Truck. I figured it would come to a Head Eventually even with me being Peaceful.
As soon as I get a Paycheck I'm ordering a Sign that says something like Future Site of Jugheads Bar and Grill Bikers Welcome. A guy I work With said I could use His Transit to Shoot Grade. I think I can Find Someone that needs a Place to Park their Track Hoe for a While.

Find out how many junk cars you can legally have on the property, then park them right out front.

Actually Kevin Junk cars around here is Unlimited.There were several of my cousins Junk cars in front of his house BUT they Hauled them off a few weeks ago.Just one more step to him thinking that Jughead's Bar and Grill may be in the works. I done ran one POS Neighbor off a few Years ago at Dad and Moms House.He Pretty well knew I was Pissed Enough to beat him to death with His Weedeater or Shoot him so He packed up His stuff and Sold out. I was Just tired of His Strung out Ex Wife Screaming through the Night in his Driveway wanting him to give her some more Heroine.Traffic in and out of Here was almost Non stop.

Not sure about the laws there, but here, you can call the cops........

Here, dogs are permitted to bark 6am to 11pm. The only way I can call the police is if they leave them outside after 11 at night, but that hasn't happened so far.