Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a bl*w j0b?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with mens balls"
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget..
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's willy last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This
time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their food laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did he have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
Moderators: oldjapanesebikes, H2RICK, diamondj, Suzsmokeyallan
- johnakay
- I likes them jubblies
- Posts: 2365
- Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2008 11:19 am
- Country: UK
- Suzuki 2-Strokes: bike
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
If I wanted to make a life-long career out of
working with the mentally retarded I would
have opened a Harley Davidson Dealership
working with the mentally retarded I would
have opened a Harley Davidson Dealership
- Suzsmokeyallan
- Moto GP
- Posts: 4326
- Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:11 am
- Location: Mostly Barbados, sometimes Florida and western Canada
- Contact:
Re: Here are six reasons why you should think before you spe
Hmm its a good thing Bob was only supposed to be giving her 8 inches, suppose it was a blizzard and she got 36 inches instead.
Two strokes, its just that simple.
69 Suz U70
69 Suz T500
72 Suz GT750 cafe
74 Suz TS250
74 Suz GTXVR project
75 Suz RE5
75 Suz GT750
76 Suz TS400
76 Suz GT750
81 Suz GSX1100
86 Suz RG500x2
88 Hon CR500
93 Hon CBR900RR
98 Suz GSF1200x3
15 Kaw Ninja H2
69 Suz U70
69 Suz T500
72 Suz GT750 cafe
74 Suz TS250
74 Suz GTXVR project
75 Suz RE5
75 Suz GT750
76 Suz TS400
76 Suz GT750
81 Suz GSX1100
86 Suz RG500x2
88 Hon CR500
93 Hon CBR900RR
98 Suz GSF1200x3
15 Kaw Ninja H2
- Jughead
- This IS the real me!!!
- Posts: 540
- Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:48 pm
Re: Here are six reasons why you should think before you spe


Good thing they weren't calling for four either.Bob may not have came back to work the next day.

Hang me from the Tree of Shame.Damn! I forgot the Rope.