Police in Liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known scouse Islamic terrorists. Bin Snort-in, Bin Deal-in and Bin Thieving, there is no sign of Bin Work-in
I fancied a curry last night so i phoned " Kings China Buffet' . A Chinky answered and said "Herro I'm Wan King The Cook" I said " no worries", i'll call back
Paddy met Mick in the street and Mick said:
"Paddy will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in the future?"
"Why?" Paddy asked.
"Because," said Mick "all the street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday"
Paddy replied "Silly buggers! - the laugh's on them. I wasn't home yesterday!!"
Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except stella.
Barman asks "wots wrong with stella?"
Bloke says "I had 12 pints of stella last nite and wen i got home i woz f**kin skint!"
Barman says "12 pints of anything costs the same?"
Bloke replies "Skints my dogs name!!!!!"
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down
in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into
tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand
to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was
late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I
found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my
wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife left me, and then my dog
bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I
buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison
dissolve. Then you, show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about
me, how's your day going?
