Suzuki 2 Strokes

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what as there is no correct answer)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

Bahahahahahaha....loved it!

So THAT'S how the scoring works, Ian !!! I've never seen the actual values written down before.... ...No wonder I'm so far behind the curve......

I always lose big time in the 'Communication' section - I know I'm in trouble when I finally become aware of a long pause, and then suddenly realise SWMBO'd has been waiting for an answer to a question for the past five minutes

I never was very good at math......

the first movie i took the not yet wife to was MAD MAX 1 AND 2.
and i have been losing points ever since (27 years and counting)
i must be past minus agabillion by now

two-stroke-brit wrote:the first movie i took the not yet wife to was MAD MAX 1 AND 2.
and i have been losing points ever since (27 years and counting)
i must be past minus agabillion by now

My first date with the X was to see Blazing Saddles........in a drive-in. She never forgot it, either. I still haven't taken the current Mrs to a movie.......


Lane

rngdng wrote:

two-stroke-brit wrote:the first movie i took the not yet wife to was MAD MAX 1 AND 2.
and i have been losing points ever since (27 years and counting)
i must be past minus agabillion by now

My first date with the X was to see Blazing Saddles........in a drive-in. She never forgot it, either. I still haven't taken the current Mrs to a movie.......


Lane

Awwww... it's so nice to see you guys remember stuff like that, I guess there is hope!