Love Making Tips For Seniors

jkevinlilly · Post by **jkevinlilly** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 2:40 pm

1. Wear your glasses.
To make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes,
In case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting.
(Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

8. Make all the noise you want...
The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .... . . . . . . . . . . .

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs And make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes And you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes...

Kevin

rngdng · Post by **rngdng** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:59 pm

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

That's just rude. (Joan Rivers where are you....)

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

That one I understand all too well..........

Lane

Post by **Suzsmokeyallan** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:36 pm

Its amazing how some things affect persons while others of the same or similar age dont have those problems.

TLRam1 · Post by **TLRam1** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:39 pm

Suzsmokeyallan wrote:Its amazing how some things affect persons while others of the same or similar age dont have those problems.

Throwing Lane under the bus.

Post by **Suzsmokeyallan** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:17 pm

Oh oh that was a general comment not meant to include Lane or anyone else posting on this board, however Lane knows i'm always looking for ways to yank his chain.

TLRam1 · Post by **TLRam1** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 7:23 pm

Be careful his chains getting brittle.

rngdng · Post by **rngdng** » Mon Sep 28, 2009 6:55 am

My chain is fine, thank you very much.

My waking up at night to "go" has been happening all my life. Mom says I got up every night as long as she can remember, but it happens a bit more often when I drink too much coffee......

Lane