Hallmark cards that didn't make the cut

[GT Tim]

Bad day at Hallmark

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........

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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!



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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.




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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'




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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.




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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?




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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.




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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.




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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.




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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.




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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )




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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!




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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.




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We have been friends for a very long time .

let's say we stop?




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I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.




=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?




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Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.




))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

[jkevinlilly]

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )

I actually have relatives who could send ones that say Happy Birthday, Uncle Brother-in-Law, or Happy Birthday, Nephew Brother-in-law. One of my Brother-in-Laws has a wife that is the sister of our nephews wife...


Kevin

[Gordon]

Deleted

[Jughead]

The one I always give to People for Christmas

Money's Tight
Times are Hard
Here's your
$^#@in' Christmas Card



Works really Great at the Beer Stores.You walk in,Rip a piece off of a Beer Box,Write and Hand it to them.